I came across an old blog of mine recently. It’s the first blog I ever did and it was right in the midst of my weight loss journey. There were a few things that struck me from scrolling through these posts.
First, I kept struggling with the exact same things over and over again!! Every post was me setting the same goals and then vowing to “finally stick with it this time“. Here’s an example of the goals I was setting on a weekly basis:
- Don’t go over my calories (1,200 a day) more than once a week
- No Carbs with dinner
- No binge eating!
- No snacking after dinner
The “no binge eating” goal was the most repetitive one to be honest, as that was my biggest struggle. If only I realized back then the solution to ending the binge eating was simply to allow myself to eat (who’d have thought!).
Second, I had shared a bunch of pictures of myself from different events and points in my life and under every single picture I put how much I weighed. I don’t mean like a ballpark idea of how much I weighed like “Oh, I was around 200 lbs here“, but like down to the freaking pound I KNEW how much I weighed, always! Do you think that anyone who has a healthy relationship with their body and food knows exactly how much they weigh at any given time? No, probably not.
Anytime I come across things like this from back when I was smaller than I am now the old feelings of missing my smaller body end up bubbling up. But honestly, they are not near as strong as they once were. I have come to terms with that I am not that size anymore and I just may never be that size again. I’m simply not willing to make the sacrifices that I did back then in order to get to that size again and that is okay!
If you are where I was back then and you ultimately feel as though you are in a constant fight with your body, I invite you to try and work to just let it go. Stop feeling as though you need to control your weight, your size, or your food. Work to realize that life and health are so much more than a certain size or weight. You deserve to enjoy your life!
One of the most important things you need to do in order to let this go is to simply stop weighing yourself. I know this can be difficult for some people (trust me, I had a very hard time completely quitting weighing myself), but you need to. Think about it, if your weight doesn’t matter to you anymore, then why are you weighing yourself? Why do you feel the need to still “check-in” on it, just to “make sure” it’s staying within some range that you feel is acceptable? Part of having a healthy relationship with food and your body is not feeling like you need a scale to tell you how your body is doing. It’s also just one of those external factors that will essentially get you further out of touch from your body.